Derek Clontz

2nd Great Depression can make you rich as BANK COLLAPSE is just weeks away, says expert

In 1000 years of peace, Can this be true?, Live Rich, Satan's corner, bill collectors, book reviews, books, career, credit card debt, debt management, dirty tricks, ecomony, end of the world, end times, financial, gee whiz, get out of debt, get rich quick, inspirational, life's lessons, mabel, money, national dept, novel money-making ideas, odd, offbeat, office talk, outrageous, predictions, second great depression, straight poop, survivalists, what will they think of next, workingmen on March 18, 2008 at 7:06 pm

Copyright (c) 2008 Derek Clontz/4-Page Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 

YOU CAN get rich while everyone around you is going broke with the super tips you’ll find in economist Dr. John Paul Toffleson’s riveting new book: In the Money: Depression Secrets of the Super Wealthy.

And the advice couldn’t come at a better time.

According to the Toffleson, America is just weeks away from Wall Street crash that will leave as many as 140 million men and women out of work and begging for jobs that might not come back for a decade or longer as bankruptcies soar and businesses struggle to stay afloat with:

anniecash- fewer customers,

- tighter credit, and,

- soaring, Jimmy-Carteresque interest rates of 18 to 20 percent.

And that, says the economist, is good news for people who don’t mind getting rich off the misery of others.

The longer the downturn lasts, he notes, the more money you can make in a variety of “borderline-legal” and “semi-ethical” but high-paying home businesses like kitchen dentistry, toilet-paper gouging, road-kill take-out, unlicensed beer, wine and whisky sales, amateur protection rackets, backyard burial services and many, many more.

“The scenario isn’t pretty, but make no mistake – it can work to your advantage if you go to work without delay,“ the Washington, D.C.-based expert told me exclusively.

“For starters, you should hoard items that everybody will need after the collapse – items like toilet paper, condoms, knives, guns, bullets, birth control pills, clean water and food.

“You also need to prepare yourself psychologically to take advantage of neighbors, family members and friends in the toughest of Fortune 500 traditions. This is not a strategy for ‘people who care about people.’

“It’s a strategy for people who care about money – and who want to get rich at any cost.

“The good news is that you don‘t need a lot of money to make a lot money during a depression. A basic understanding of capitalism – and a willingness to put compassion on the back burner while you extract wealth from desperate people in desperate need – are all it takes to accumulate riches in the worst of times.”

Here, from Toffleson’s book, which has been rushed to press and could be in book stores as early as September, are some down-and-dirty ways to turn hard times to good times:

- It’s easier than you think to become an unlicensed doctor, surgeon or dentist. When the economy collapses so, too, will the medical establishment as millions Americans lose health insurance and the ability to pay for medical care.

Doctors – even self-proclaimed folk doctors and self-taught dentists – will be in high demand, and, up to a point, you can name your price. Study survival manuals now to learn tricks of the trade. For example, few people know that the best way to extract a painful abscessed tooth when there’s no dentist around is to use a string to attach it to a bent sapling – and then let the sapling go.

Now you do – and it’s just one of many medical procedures that you can charge for during the coming 2nd Depression.

- Start a bootleg pharmacy. Sales of drugs, herbs, and over-the-counter remedies like headache powders are a multi-billion dollar industry. You can still buy powerful, nutritionally supportive herbs and supplements, for example – at bargain prices for resale at a premium later.

Stockpile treatments for key afflictions now, such as for headaches and back pain. Remember: Doctors and hospitals charge $10 for an aspirin. So can you.

- Work “under the table” as an undertaker. People die regardless of the state of the economy. And as is usually the case during severe economic downturns, suicide rates are sure to soar.

Licensed undertakers charge a fortune for funerals and cemetery plots. You can cash in by offering cut-rate services, including backyard and landfill burials. Scour the Internet and your local library now for embalming strategies and tips on conducting funerals.

Start spreading the word that you’re “interested” in funerals and burials. That will increase word-of-mouth advertising after the collapse.

- Sell guns and ammo to criminals and other high bidders. Stockpile arms and ammunition now.

If Toffleson is correct, and convicts and looters and even hungry cannibals are running wild in the streets, terrified people – including former gun control nuts and criminals who use a lot of ammo during the normal course of “business” – will pay any price for what you’ve got.

- Run a protection racket. You don’t have to sell your guns and ammo to get rich during the depression.

Run a protection racket – Mafia style – to empty the wallets of small businessmen and neighbors, such as senior citizens and single moms, who don’t have the means or the will to protect themselves.

- Learn how to kill, dress and cook pets and serve them up as take-out from your own kitchen. With meat and all food in short supply, dogs and cats will start looking mighty tasty.

And you’ll be able to catch all the critters you can cook in your own neighborhood and the surrounding countryside.

- If you can’t bring yourself to prepare pets for the dinner table, try road kill. Prepare now by familiarizing yourself with methods of preparing wild meat and presenting “damaged goods” in an appetizing way.

- Survivalists agree that when push comes to shove, the hottest commodity during a depression – when manufacturing and distribution of consumer items will grind to a halt – will be ordinary toilet paper.

Hoard now and just a few months after the collapse, you can name your price.

- Stock up now on the ingredients you need to make homemade whisky, wine and beer. Nothing makes people want to forget their worries like a depression. Sell them the booze they need to pickle their brains at reduced prices.

- Learn to read palms, tell fortunes and give psychic readings. The depression will leave people anxious and in despair over what the future might hold for them. And you can make megabucks giving them the skinny.

- Get a year’s supply of batteries for a portable TV and radio and start a “mini theater” that entertainment-starved patrons will pay you to visit.

Remember: With the power turned off for lack of payment, and their home entertainment systems sitting idle, people will still want to be entertained. They’ll scrape up the bucks to make this a profitable venture for you.

- It sounds cruel, but you should stockpile water-purification tablets now so you can sell a commodity that is even more important than food – water.

Thirsty people will pay anything for a drink – and when city water systems shut down or lose power, you’ll have the means to sell creek and river water at big prices.

- Learn high-pressure bartering techniques now so you can take advantage of people who have no money to pay you for your services.

“Why trade a gallon of water for a reclining chair when you can get a pickup truck?” asks Toffleson. “You shouldn’t.”

Copyright (c) Derek Clontz/4-Page Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

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  1. This type of thinking is sick! Taking from others so you can become rich? Sick!

  2. I am going to say it again, This is sick. America’s biggest problem will not be the “oncomming depression”. It will be the lack of values that are talked about in this article. My Great Grandparents talked about how they made it through the great depression. It was not by ripping off their neighboors, it was about joining together and taking care of each other. Anyway, the oncomming depression will not last forever, and in the end people who are greedy and selfish will have what is comming to them. They will get what they deserve, which is no friends and an empty feeling inside.

    You reap what you sow.

  3. This whole thing made me sick i was looking for recipes to cook using non perishable goods not all this. and i do believe that you reap what you sow,

  4. Good advice.

  5. Home entertainment advice sounds pretty good actually. I know a way to power a television using a simple AAA battery. I will keep this in mind when things go sour…..

    Also, all this “my grandparents said they worked together”. I’m sure pulling someone’s tooth, giving them beer, selling roadkill when thats all there is etc can all be seen as “working together”. All this stuff and more happened. Ppl Never tell the depression like it was, just the “triumphat thrifty grandparents”.

    If things go downhill, you will see what true sickness is.

  6. Very refreshing reading! Thank you. I woke up my whole house as I could not stop laughing. And in a light of September 15th market meltdown, we all need it.

  7. Good advice, thanks…

  8. Very scary. I think (if the govt. doesn’t intervene) we could be facing these circumstances by this time next month. Get ready…

  9. Great advice! Some of it a bit sick but what the hey? If things collapse you are certainly painting a realistic picture.

  10. an economic depression in USA is a not world war III

  11. Interesting. My feeling is that WHEN this coming depression hits, it will make the first one look like child’s play. None of us have any idea how bad it will be. The things that are mentioned in this article have to do with survival. Who will do these things? I don’t think you’ll find a LOT of it going on, but I’m certain it will happen. Does that mean you’ll be charging your friends, neighbors and relatives? Maybe – to some extent. Circumstances will dictate.
    And these “services”mentioned here are just for staters – I think people are going to get quite creative when it comes to not just making money – but survival.

  12. What’s truly sick is that there exists a sub-level in every society (by no means just in the US) that LOOKS FORWARD to the idea of being able to screw their neighbours over, scorn charity and compassion, and who relishes seeing people who try to live decent lives suffer.

    People like that aren’t responding pragmatically to a necessary evil – they’re dancing with delight that the world may have to sink to their level, and they’ll do anything in their power, including scaremongering out of proportion, to try to convert others to their bleak and nihilistic point of view.

  13. Do you actually think the people in Washington are going to let this country sink ? No, they wont… the government will put a great big band-aid on the crisis, stopping the bleeding just enough to get it thru to the next administration. The people in the US government that allowed this imoral, unconstitutional behavior should be fired and tried for treason. It was nothing more than fraud of the American people. No one will ever be held accountable though, it’ll all be swept under the rug… It’s
    a shame what our country has become….

  14. I expect an oncomming depression is nearly here as well. The Fed keeps putting bandaids on a gushing wound and the people running for office in our country don’t seem to see this, or don’t want to. What we need to do is work together, respect and love each other, and realize that in the words of Jimi Hendrix, we can have peace and happiness if people realize the power of love is stronger than the love of power. I’m voting Bob Barr ‘08 -Libertarian
    Let’s stop the the greedy and powerhungry. =)

  15. “Backyard funeral homes”—I predict a trend toward cremation (or its cousin “obliteration”: throwing the corpse in front of a train or, burial at sea (shark-infested waters, naturally). Criminals who need bullets in the normal course of “business” are going to PAY you for them (when they can just shoot you) at a time when crime will be rampant? At a time when morality is observed by few? Toilet paper: the garden hose or bathtub makes a fine bidet: people won’t buy toilet paper when there’s nothing to eat; furthermore (ever fast?)—ones goes #2 far less often. “Thirsty people will pay anything for a drink”? Correction: Back when people had morality they would pay anything for a drink, now they DO anything for a drink. Do you actually think twenty or more people will stand in line to be robbed for a sip of water, a roll of toilet paper, or a slice of bread, and it will not enter their minds that they can hang you and distribute the goods amongst themselves and have pretty clear conscience thrown in as part of the bargain? Anything you can sell can be taken from you at gunpoint. Turn to Jesus Christ and be saved.

  16. Do you think actually think people are going to participate more than once at your site while you censor what they say? Ichabod!

  17. This is perfect for a start, but road kill is too much for me unless it not about dogs and cats…

    How do you cremate bodies? I have to find a way to do it DIY.

    Toilet paper is good but not as good as pastrami, trust me, i lived through various depressions in Eastern Europe, where COFFEE was more expensive than sex with ten women!

    Coffee beans are best to buy in large wholesale sacks. Sugar and diapers are also amazing. AND DONT FORGET FLOUR. Perfumes and lost of Johhny walker black label.

    Also learn how to cut hair, that is always useful. Depressions are better when you go to another country where you are needed, like africa, where you can teach english or be a doctor just because you know what an aspirin is.

    Try to move to an area where you are unique and forget about home, trust me on that.

    During the market down, buy stuff that some countries have for cheap, like tea for instance.

    All this is serious.. no joke

  18. Oh and don’t forget canned milk.

  19. This is actually all good advice.
    I lived in Ukraine in the 90s and I know all too well what was happening in Moscow in the 90s.
    Conserve your resources, get guns, many guns. Don’t trust anyone.

  20. You are better off to help others if you can, instead of being greedy, and getting wealth from the suffering of others. Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. I pray for our country, for my neighbors, and for you.
    Only by hard work, and God’s help will we get through the 2008 Depression.

  21. This is actually a truthful article. In the coming depression you will have to suck up your morals and be a rough tough sumabtch or youre not going to make it. Another high paying out cash crop is marijuana. There will always be a demand for this product and if the depression gets bad consider growing it. Forget the laws and think about your survival. It would make for great barter. You cant worry about the governments bs laws when theyre the ones who created this mess in the first place.

  22. lol.. omg

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