Copyright (c) 2007 Derek Clontz/ 4-Page Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
YOU CAN fire up your love life overnight with ordinary items like fish hooks, bullets and a bar of soap.
That’s what I learned in interviews with professional counselors who told me that couples who take just three to five seconds a day to express their love for one another in simple and inexpensive but creative ways engage in intimacies at least four times as often as those who don’t.
And when given a choice of three words to describe their intimacies, those same couples choose “electrifying” over “very good” and “adequate” – every time, the experts said.
“Men and women who have learned how to express their love for one another simply and regularly have the most sex and the best sex period,” Paula Trefton, a marriage counselor with offices in London and New York, told me exclusively.
“These couples have learned that it isn’t what you say to your spouse or lover that opens the door to great sex, it’s how you say it and how often you say it that really counts.
“I’ve found, for instance, that leaving a hastily-scribbled “I love you!” on a scrap of paper for your significant other to find or even giving him an inexpensive ‘gift’ of fish hooks or a few sticks of gum is every bit as likely to win you a love session as a dozen red roses or a piece of fine jewelry.
“There’s something about the spontaneity of the scribbled note or cheap gift that touches both men and women on a profoundly deep level. And unlike flowers, jewelry and other expensive gifts, which often have the ‘feel’ of bribes, these are things you can ‘lavish’ on your lover every day.”
Dr. Roberto Garcia, a psychologist in Miami, FL, couldn’t agree more.
“Statistics vary, but it’s safe to say the average American couple engages in sexual intimacies four times a month,” he told me in an interview at his office overlooking Biscayne Bay.
“By way of comparison, couples who take those few seconds to express their love for one another in creative ways each and every day have sex an average of four times a week.
“I don’t mind telling you that after seeing those results, I started leaving love notes to my wife all over the place. It’s changed my life.”
In interviews with hundreds of patients over the past 10 years, the experts discovered a number of inexpensive and ingenious ways that savvy couples have found to keep their interest in one another at fever pitch.
Following their example, you can:
o Write “I love you!” on a bathroom mirror with a bar of soap. For added impact, don’t wipe it off … ever.
o Scribble “I want you!” or other Valentine’s-like messages such as “Hot Mama!”, “Ooo Baby!” or “Gimme! Gimme!” on a scrap of paper adorned with “smiley faces” or any other day-brightening or sexually-suggestive doodle you can think of.
Tape it to a broom or mop handle, the dishwasher, the steering wheel of his car -anywhere your sweet-cakes is sure to find it.
o Buy an inexpensive gift and hide it where your lover will stumble on it after he leaves the house.
If your man likes to hunt or fish, for example, you can slip a package of fish hooks or a few new bullets or shotgun shells in his briefcase or lunch box before he goes to work.
If your gal likes chocolates or wears lots of makeup, you can drop a few messy-but-sensual candies – chocolate-covered cherries, for instance – or a tube of lip gloss in her purse. It might sound corny. But the experts confirm that the tiniest of surprises say “I love you” in a very sexy way.
o Telephone your spouse and say, “I love you, baby!” at odd hours of the day. Don’t wait for a response – hang up as soon as you blurt it out.
“We don’t really know why, but the message seems to be sexier that way,” said Trefton.
“You really can improve your sex life and strengthen the bond between you and your mate simply and inexpensively,”she added.
“Just use your imagination and make sure you don’t forget to say ‘I love you!’ in some special way every day.”
