Doctor: Supermarket fruits and veggies worse than liquor, cigs

Copyright (c) 2007 Derek Clontz/4-Page Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 

THE STRAWBERRY in you plop in your breakfast cereal or spoon over a spongy slab of shortcake ought to be marked with a skull and crossbones because even though it appears to be a healthy choice, it’s actually dripping with deadly pesticides that won’t wash off.

And whenever you eat a strawberry – or any fruit or vegetable that hasn’t been certified as organic – you’re being poisoned as surely as a caterpillar, a bird or rat in the field.

That warning comes from no less a source than the U.S. Department of Agriculture in Washington, D.C.

The agency found in a years-long study of pesticides in our food supply that only peaches are more toxic than strawberries when they arrive at your table.

And not far behind are other favorites like apples, spinach, celery and nectarines.

And that’s after they’ve been washed.

The poison isn’t just on the surface, says the USDA, it’s systemic.

That means you can scrub and peel until you’re blue in the face – you’re still going to be consuming pesticides with every bite.

But that doesn’t mean some fruits and vegetables aren’t safer than others. Asparagus isn’t nearly as toxic as an apple. Bananas are safe to eat and so is broccoli because they’re naturally hardy and farmers don’t have to hose them down with poison all the time to keep them safe from pests and growing.

To help you pick and choose fruits and vegetables for your table, we’ve provided a listing of the 12 Most and 12 Least Contaminated Fruits and Vegetables in a handy chart at the end of this story.

When it comes to the least contaminated choices, experts generally agree that you can purchase non-organics and save money and avoid toxic overload at the same time.

When buying selections from the most contaminated list, it’s a good idea to buy only those that are certified organic.

Otherwise your health could suffer horribly over the long haul. As a Gainesville, FL-based cancer specialist who requested anonymity told me with surprising candor, “Some of these produce items are worse than hard liquor and unfiltered cigarettes combined.”

Pesticides used on these foods, she added, “believe it or not, contain estrogens and other demasculizing chemicals that can shrink a man’s testicles and also give him feminine characteristics such as breasts.

“These chemicals profoundly affect the thyroid and endocrine system – disrupting the many metabolic processes that keep us healthy, fit, energetic and alive.

“Brain damage is a potential side effect. So is cancer. It’s no secret. Any legitimate authority will tell you the same.”

In addition to our food-contamination listing below, we’ve provided a hyperlink to 23 other foods so you can find out how hazardous your favorites are.

There’s a hyperlink, too, to a “digital salad maker.” Use your mouse to combine ingredients, and then click to find out much pesticide you would ingest if you actually ate it.

12 Most Contaminated Fruits and Vegetables

1. Peaches

2. Strawberries

3. Apples

4. Spinach

5. Nectarines

6. Celery

7. Pears

8. Cherries

9. Potatoes

10. Sweet Bell Peppers  

11. Raspberries

12. Imported Grapes

12 Least Contaminated Fruits and Vegetables

1. Sweet Corn

2. Avocado

3. Pineapple

4. Cauliflower

5. Mango

6. Sweet Peas

7. Asparagus

8. Onion

9. Broccoli

10. Bananas

11. Kiwi Fruit

12. Papaya

Pesticides in popular foods – check out your favorites

Interactive site: Pick and choose veggies for a salad – and then find out how toxic it is

Battle cancer, heart disease, arthritis, obesity, acne and more with clippings from your lawnmower’s grass bag

Copyright (c) 2007 Derek Clontz/4-Page Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved

BEFORE you mow your lawn this week consider this: Most of the pesky weeds growing out there with the grass are potent medicinal herbs that can be used to battle everything from arthritis and cancer to heart disease, PMS, overweight and acne – absolutely free of charge.

Dandelion, chickweed, boneset, red clover, milk thistle, stinging nettles, shepherd’s purse, coltsfoot, burdock, eyebright – the list of healing herbs growing wild in your lawn really does go on forever.

And because they are weeds, they grow like weeds. And that means you don’t have to do anything but sit back and cool your heels while Mother Nature fills your medicine chest for you.

I’m not kidding when I say that in long traditional and common use, these scorned and forgotten plants that blow in on the breeze have been used to fight just about every medical condition and illness you can think of.

Red Clover, burdock and sheep sorrel, for instance, are key components of herbal tonics such as Hoxsey’s legendary cancer formula and nurse Rene Caisse’s Essiac Tea, both of which are in wide and trusted use by people fighting cancers of all kinds.

Dandelion is a mainstay of people with liver disease, bile duct problems and high blood pressure.

Chickweed is relied on to help the body burn off and flush out body fat.

Stinging nettles are used by people battling the pain of arthritis – as well as by men battling diminished sex drive, impotence, or benign enlargement of the prostate.

Black cohosh has worked miracles for women with “problem periods” and premenstrual syndrome as well as those contending with the symptoms of menopause. And then there’s eyebright. It’s one of the world’s most popular herbs for eyes. It’s also used for inflamed and infected sinuses.

The herbs I’ve mentioned here grow just about everywhere – and you’ll certainly find others that are specific to your neighborhood if you take the time to poke around a little.

It might sound odd, but checking the label on a bag or bottle of weed killer will give you a pretty good rundown of the herbs you can expect to find growing wild in your yard.

Below you’ll find a handy listing of common “lawn herbs” followed by a sampling of the traditional and common uses they are famous for.

Remember: If you are seriously ill or think you might be, or if you are pregnant or nursing, use common sense. Consult a health care professional you know and trust before you try to diagnose and treat yourself. The information presented on this page is for informational purposes only, and it is not to be construed as medical advice.

Also, before picking and eating any weed, make sure you have identified it positively – beyond the shadow of any doubt.

Some may be are poisonous. Also, don’t pick herbs growing near busy roads or highways – they almost certainly have been contaminated by sprays or exhaust fumes.

o Cleavers: Lymphatic distress, swollen glands, dry skin, psoriasis, urinary tract infection, ulcers, tumors, water retention.

o Burdock: Bacterial and fungal infections, skin infections, urinary tract infections, psoriasis, eczema, acne, boils, herpes outbreaks, heart problems, anorexia, kidney distress, cystitis.

o Boneset: Colds and flu, respiratory complaints, toxic buildup in blood and tissue, constipation, muscular rheumatism. Contrary to popular belief, boneset does not speed the healing of broken bones. It gets its name from long traditional use as a treatment for “breakbone” – or dengue – fever, a peculiarly painful flu.

o Black Cohosh: Muscle cramps, spasms and pain, tension, arthritis, symptoms of PMS and menopause.

o Buttercup: Pain caused by shingles and sciatica.

o Tansy: Intestinal worms, digestive and menstrual sluggishness.

o Coltsfoot: Asthma, coughs, emphysema. Used externally for skin uclers. o Chicory: Sluggish liver, high cholesterol, rapid heartbeat, acid indigestion, gallstones.

o Chickweed: Externally for cuts, wounds and itchy, irritated skin. Internally for arthritis, blood poisoning and to flush out body fat.

o Cinquefoil: Gum inflammation, sore throat, skin complaints.

o Cocklebur (agrimony): Digestive and liver distress, diarreah, disorders of the mucus membranes, appendicitis, urinary incontinence, cystitis. Also as a gargle for sore throat. Externally for wounds, bruises, asthma, bronchitis.

o Curly Dock: Chronic inflammatory conditions, sluggish bowel, liver disturbances, skin conditions.

o Yellow Dock: Poor night vision, emphysema, blood purification, psoriasis, bile duct sluggishness.

o Dandelion: Edema, heart problems, urinary tract infections, liver complaints, gallstones, inflammation of joints and skin, weight loss.

o Daisy: Coughs, congestion, arthritis, liver and kidney problems, diarreah. o Mallow: Internally for gastitis, stomach ulcers, laryngitis, upper respiratory complaints, bronchitis, inflammation of stomach and small intestines, peptic ulcer, hiatal herniadry cough, inflamed urinary passages. Externally for minor burns, abscesses, wounds.

o Mustard: Externally, to stimulate circulation to relieve muscular and skeletal pain and bronchitis. Internally for feverish colds, flu, chillblains.

o Plaintain: Urinary tract infection, dry or nervous cough, gastic inflammation, lung congestion, inflamed mucus membranes, mild bronchitis, hemorrhoids.

o Purslane: Super food rich in vitamins C and A, potassium, iron, calcium, magnesium, phosphorus and the trace elements boron, tin, zinc and molybdenum. Used for respiratory disorders and skin afflictions, low blood pressure, weakness of the heart. urinary tract disorders.

o Red Clover: Cancer, skin disease, whooping cough, psoriasis. o Sheep Sorrel: Cancer, sluggish liver, water retention, constipation, physical weakness.

o Shepherd’s Purse: Hemorrhoids, excessive menstrual bleeding, nosebleeds, urinary complaints, circulatory stimulant, water retention due to kidney problems.

o Milk Thistle: Chronic liver disease, hepatitis, gall bladder complaints, diminished liver function from drug or alcohol abuse and overexposure to environmental poisons. Regenerates liver cells, stimulates bile flow.

o Euphorbia: Relaxes smooth muscles of lungs helping with asthma and bronchitis, nervous cough, upper respiratory congestion.

o Blessed Thistle: Sluggish digestion caused by fevers, inflammation or infection of the digestive tract.

o Mullein: Asthma, inflammation of trachea and bronchial tubes, dry cough, bronchial spasm. Mullein tones mucus membranes such as sinus, reducing inflammation.

First lady’s wash-off ‘DUBYA’ tattoo – won’t

First lady Laura Bush was stunned to learn that the “wash-off” henna “love tattoo” she got as a surprise for President George Bush is more permanent than she was led to believe.

The palm-sized heart emblazoned with “Luv Ya Dubya” ( Dubya, of course, being the President’s nickname ) will be good to go “for at least two months,” a highly placed staff member says.

 “She is not amused,” the source told me in an exclusive interview.

“The tattoo is about on her right leg, about half-way between her knee and thigh. Unless she gets lucky and it fades faster than expected, you won’t be seeing her in anything but slacks and granny dresses until Halloween.”

The tattoo artist who told the first lady the heart could be “washed off at any time” is an employee of India’s embassy to the United States.

The woman supports libertarian candidate Ron Paul in next year’s presidential election, which may account for her “misleading” the first lady, the staff member says.

Henna is a safe – but stubborn - reddish-brown dye derived from the leaves of the henna plant. It is widely used by Hindus in body-decorating rituals.

Hillary Clinton and Laura Bush in bump and grind showdown: Dance competition on satellite TV will benefit hungry children, says organizer

Copyright (c) 2007 Derek Clontz/4-Page Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved

A sex shop owner has challenged first lady Laura Bush and presidential hopeful Sen. Hillary Clinton to compete in a “bump and grind showdown” for a children’s charity.

And while it seems unlikely that either woman will participate in such a tawdry spectacle, insiders in both camps are “hoping against hope” that the most recognizable women in American politics will slip into thongs and pasties – or at least one-piece bathing suits – and go at it live, on satellite TV, for everyone on the planet to see.

“Laura isn’t the dowdy old party pooper that people think she is and this could be a kind of ‘coming out‘ party for her,” a Beltway insider with ties to both women told me exclusively.

“Anybody who knows Hillary will tell you that she’s never been one to shy away from a good time and besides, this would give her a chance to show Bill what he’s been missing.

“With all his womanizing, he seems to have forgotten that Hillary is a brilliant, beautiful and sexy woman who’s getting prettier as she gets older.

“The same goes for Mrs. Bush. It’s true that people perceive her as being prim and proper to a fault. But when the first lady lets her hair down, watch out – she’s a wildcat.“

Treight’s Triple X Theater owner Roger Treight says he hit on the idea of a bump-and-grind showdown involving big-name lady politicians after watching a documentary on poverty in the United States.

“When I heard that over 30 percent of American children are living in poverty it made me sick to my stomach,“ says the Los Angeles-based businessman. “I thought, ‘How can this be? Why are we letting our kids go to school hungry?‘

“I started thinking of ways to draw attention to the problem and raise money at the same time. It occurred to me that Mrs. Bush and Mrs. Clinton are among the best-known women on earth, and with all that power and celebrity, they’re headliners in anybody’s book.

“And then it hit me: ‘If Hillary and Laura were competing in a dance contest, everybody would pay good money to see them.’

“We’re not talking about some cheesy back-room amateur night at a topless club. We‘re talking the ultimate pay-for-view for the best cause I can think of – our children.”

Treight says he telephoned “a few friends in high places” who in turn contacted Sen. Clinton, 59, and Mrs. Bush, 60. No official word yet on whether they’ll agree to what he’s already calling “Hillary’s & Laura’s Dance Showdown.”

But Washington is buzzing with the possibilities.

“I’ve got my fingers crossed,“ says a Clinton aide who requested anonymity. “This would be bigger than a presidential debate and a heck of a lot more interesting.”

Adds a Bush insider: “I think the first lady might go for it. The wild card is President Bush. If he thinks the faceoff would offend conservative voters, he’ll nix the plan.

“Of course, if that happens I wouldn’t put it past Hillary to go solo and then make political hay over Laura’s forfeit.”

In Las Vegas, bookmakers are taking the proposed faceoff very seriously, with Hillary considered a 3 to 1 favorite to win – if they dance.

“Hillary’s got the edge but the first lady isn’t exactly chopped liver,“ says one bookie. “If she takes this seriously, and she really commits to the idea of helping those children, she could be a sleeper.”